part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
