I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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