farters have to be the big spoon...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
