Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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