But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
