Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
