wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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