Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
