Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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