So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize