Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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