i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
