Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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