How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
