Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
