i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
