I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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