Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she pinky promised me she was 18
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
