Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
