You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
