just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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