I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
