I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
