i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
