You're completely useless in the revolution.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
