let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
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