Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
