I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
