Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
