You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
