i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
