My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
