Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I have fence marks all over my body
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
