just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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