Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
