Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
