I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
