Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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