your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
