So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
