I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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