You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Randomize