Jerry, you need to find god
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
