I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
