dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
