9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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