Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
