My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
