Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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