bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
