yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
