The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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