i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
