yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
