Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
