What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
