I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
