as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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