I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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