i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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