Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
